Though my heart is weak and weary; from a road less traveled on.
And the pain it lingers on.
I’m gonna bury my frustrations, and live before I die.
Pain will be my motivation. I’m going to use my imagination.
I’m gonna live before I die.
Social Distortion lyrics taken from “Live before you Die and Through these eyes.
Honoring the dead and curing sickness
Ripples of Life, information changes the inside and the ripples spread throughout the world, affecting other life streams as yet unseen.
Within death a new life is born. The seed of life grown out of death floats into an unknown world. Lifted by a breeze and taken away from the concrete and infertile ground it currently sits in. Away from the noise of cars hustling along the freeway which choke the air with smells and sounds of life.
The life energy and potential hums and vibrates within searching for fertile ground to flourish. The stink and choke of death and its affect on the spirit within pulls me. Developing the question of why do we want to live? Why not just join those around us in death?
The breeze pulls me up and out of this place toward somewhere unknown and unseen. Higher and Higher there appears before a mountain of fertile looking land. It seems so close; so off toward it the breeze takes me. Soon the climb to even get close seems to be to much. My body burns with the effort to stay aloft, to maintain my energy, but the want of death and hurts surround me.
Gently slowly I come down and land on a bit of water, cooling my body in the heat, but this was not the fertile ground necessary for growth. Once more the body is lifted up into the air drifting up higher and higher closer to the mountain, driven not by a destination but a vision of finding a purpose of life when surrounded by death and sickness. The concrete and infertile ground continues to surround the landscape, though it is peppered with beautiful images, colors and smells, the overall choke of death continues to haunt the soul.
The travel gets harder, the world seems pointless and lifeless as the journey toward the mountains continues. Even the small patches of open ground are chocked full of death and stink of garbage. It is tempting to take solace and a chance in the first place seen, but upward and onward I go. Searching for more than the easy ground. Pushing up higher and higher my weakness and the pain of things begins to take a toll.
Suddenly perception begins to change. Instead of focusing on death the potential of Life begins to weal up within me. What could I be? What would life look like if instead of succumbing to death and weakness my soul was given new strength by focusing on what could be if the energy within was focused on health, strength and potential. Still there was no clarity or vision of the potential within but rather than focus on the death the life energy becomes my strength to push me on higher and higher.
Soon my spirit is raised and the journey becomes easier, my travel lighter and soon the sounds of running water fill my being. I hover for a moment suspended above the water and looking around I see the potential of life. Though the garbage and stink of death surround this area as well I soon find a place to land and give my potential a chance to grow.
Drifting slowly, gently, and with faith through some trees and bamboo, over a small dirt path and around the rocks searching for a place of comfort where one can sit and plant life. My body hovers looking around for a perfect spot knowing that no such thing exists. Finally a spot is chosen and I sit to let the Creator lead me to either death or life.
The ground is comfy and the sun is warm. I begin to sense the world around me. Birds sing, butterflies black with red and white on their wings flutter around. Occasionally the sound of giants roar nearby letting off the life forces it carries from place to place. The sounds of a struggling new life cry out. Garbage still sits around, but the life around it has begun to accept it and pull it in, the energy within it all beginning to change and decompose into life around where it lay.
Suddenly there comes a feeling as thought and energy are put toward becoming something that blends into the landscape. Still unknown what is to become of my life energy something in my lower self begins to seek out nutrition and life that comes from mothers blood, cool crisp and refreshing. Alas things begin to become difficult, fear overtakes me as I worry about the sounds and sights. Wondering what the life around me will think of me. does it accept me? Will it help me live? What will I be? Who or what am I exactly?
Soon things begin to take shape, sprouting I roll around and search the surroundings, wondering if some thing won’t come along and take my life just when I begin to live it. Now death is not sought what I could be is. I know not whether I will grow to be mighty like the giant who planted himself near me, that shades me from the burning sun, but allows enough in to warm me. Would the life force within become? Soon it is made aware to me that I had the potential to decide. Focusing on what was needed by examining the life forces traveling around me. Into the veil I decide that I would bring beauty into the world of death. Be a bright light of life’s energy, feeding the butterflies and dragonflies that flitter around looking for something. I decide to become that something.
An ant begins to crawl upon a piece of me, I have no words to describe the growth of my being. I talk to the life surrounding me and see that this creature may take a bite out of me. Fear begins to take me, worry about the pain that might come, but the life continues even in those that show the signs of feeding this tiny giant. They whisper soft words of encouragement that it is duty for all things here to work together and help one another. That even in the death of life that still surrounds me more life is given. More potential is fed to those who stay. I relax and focus more on becoming something bright and colorful.
Soon I realize that their is something surrounding me that is protecting me from the very life I seek, so slowly and cautiously I remove the outer layer. Soon my body is rewarded by cool breeze and warm sun. My skin is now free and I realize that the outer layer is not needed. That what I thought was protecting me is really suffocating me and as beautiful as it seemed in its colors the colors of my natural self are even brighter.
Soon the life that I decided to nurture lands upon my skin. Sits and watches me as I watch it and we talk to one another. The bright blue of the flying dragon pears at me and I at him and we connect for a brief period of time. He opens and closes his wings and examines me. Soon a dark butterfly lands upon me and he to trembles his wings emitting a vibration of energy.
The time spent is a constant analysis of the life and energy around me. The sounds, the sights, the potential of growth. Though my body is small and will never extend to the heavens like some that I see around me. Those who come to me tell me that I am a flower. Bright and colorful in a place where no other flowers exist. Soon it is clear that I can send my energy out and effect the life that is around me. I can call upon the force of creation and shake the very ground I grow in.
The realization that death is not an end but a new beginning. That their lies before me a constant potential to send the ripples of my life out to others. There is no ending to my tale. I leave you here not ended but simply moving into another state of existence. Even as my body will die and decompose it will feed life in a new and amazing way. My energy continuing to ripple and effect others. It is up to me to decide to be ok with giving even the smallest bits of myself; even if it hurts, like the creatures that drink of my life is ok. So outwardly I share my creative potential sending other seeds of life into the web of existence that connects all things and all times.
This story is written to honor Rick “the Dick” Stone and many others who have left and departed this realm of reality.
- The energy of life (crystalwater87.wordpress.com)
- Balanced Energy, Balanced Life (cocoanews.wordpress.com)