The process of self evalution is never an easy thing

Macro flower experiment

Macro flower experiment (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

The process of self evaluation is never an easy process. Ugly truths must be faced in order to truly get to root causes, and therefore improve behavior to be more Christ like. While we all know that perfection is unattainable, the ability to better oneself seems to be forgotten as universally as the acceptance of ones flawed status in the world. I seem to have been blessed with an abundance of self analytical behavior. It is what made me enjoy analytical positions such as night audit for hotels, or finding financial clues to improving agent performance at Penske. So after finding out about the impending birth of who would be known as Roland Christopher, I began a full-scale life assessment tying in fatherhood and what truth I wanted to teach that yet unborn child to all my knowledge, experience, education and everything I could get a-hold of. This seems so big of a concept to put down on paper, the undertaking of going through your entire existence and all your beliefs with fresh eyes. Yet I don’t know that there has been a day in my life prior that I didn’t work on some part of this analysis. This time it was different though, bigger, harder, more in-depth. I also had more time to give to its task.

I now lived at a time when information was unlimited in its variety of beliefs and its availability. This reality created the duress that I still feel in regards to the future I am bringing my son into. I finally understand what Jackie Dale meant by “It’s your world son I’m just living in it.” It really is my sons world, I’m just living in it, but by doing so, and what I believe Jack was hinting at but I didn’t quit grasp because of my inability to pick up on subtle hints, is that I had the ability to impact that world I was living in. The unfortunate paradox to that is I can as easily be impacted by the world. So how do I raise my child to understand that he does not have to be a part of the world. Yet he who stands on the sidelines and works not is aiding the enemy. Today I do my part and write it down here, hoping one day he will read it and understand. I want him involved with the affairs of men only to ensure that there are honest men involved. Yet I don’t know how to ensure he becomes an honest man. I question my own honesty; in the face of today’s realities that I still participate in the basic functioning of society is a miracle in either faith or ignorance. It is the fact that I have a child that I find faith in tomorrow.

Tomorrow, imagining it, let alone trying to inscribe it in words, feels unattainable. Not because it can’t be seen or described but only because there are so many potentials right now that have never existed before. It reminds me of a laser light show of spiraling colors all around a central point, man, not necessarily in the masculine sense but more in the sense of as a species. He, his choice is the center-point, as more and more come together and agree on a particular path, somehow that path clears up to them and they go to it just, poof, there. Yet we aren’t there yet, not quite in tomorrow, ever. “Someday Never Comesseems appropriate here. It appears to me that people just get to a point in the changing world and just quit. The type of clothes they wear, the way they cut their hair, the music they listen to, the books they read etc. etc. all stuck in a timeframe that they see as better, usually found around the time they stopped moving forward. I find myself at an impasse in the technology of today where it moves so rapidly that keeping up seems almost impossible. Sheer cost of entry bars discovery of most new products to the marketplace so the average consumer is forced to keep himself three to five years behind in technology in order to afford its luxury. Luckily industry tends to stay at that slow speed as well, if not even slower because of similar factors.

OK I’m getting you confused again I apologize. Let me break it down in to the traditional formats we are trained to understand in school.

  1. Develop an objective
  2. Review the facts, or analysis
  3. Form a hypothesis, or a plan
  4. Experiment or execute the plan

This is a generic rendition of what is required but gives you a basic breakdown we can begin to work with. I had the objective of “developing a list of truths to teach my son. While developing these truths I must find a way to reconcile or replace the belief that a person must do some kind of work to earn food, shelter, etc.” It seemed so simple, but I’ve never done anything simple. I’ll complicate a bologna sandwich just to make it seem more significant I guess. So I began assembling information, for analysis. Not just of myself, but of the government, the political structure, the economy, education, higher education, everything. Business, future, past, present, not just analyzing what I thought of those things but taking what I thought were my beliefs and reassessing them along these major themes. Searching for the world picture I wanted my son to believe in.

Even in the business world this fact gathering analysis phase never really stops. Dozens of positions exist in corporate organisms whose sole responsibility it is to analyze the competition, government, customers, internal moral audits, all done to allow the decision makers to make the decisions they think will be good for the corporate interests. Defining your corporations’ interests and disseminating that through the ranks is hard. Especially if your corporations’ interests are not in line with the image they are presenting. If a company brags about its ability to retain employees for long periods of time, but makes decisions directed toward being sold to a larger firm for example would not be living by its perceived values. As a person I must live the values I want to instill in my child, making decisions that are in agreement with those values.

Because of the need for values based actions and decision making the analysis phase requires a lot of self-assessment. However I need to ensure I am looking at the information through my sons eyes. What truth will exist for him? What will his environment look like? While I can’t know everything I can gain a certain amount of insight just in looking at birth trends and trends in ageing. What directions our government is pursuing. What countries and areas will be rich with opportunity in the future? Looking at the facts that exist today I can determine a “Hypothesis” about some things. Haiti will be a place rich in opportunity if those in charge of all the money that is being raised for it utilizes it effectively. If it continues to be a method of funneling money into insiders pockets at the expense of the people of Haiti, then it may be a place rich in need into the next three decades. If Haiti embraces a system of sustainability, economic equality, and educational advancement then they may grow fusing all we know today into their culture. What a perfect place to rebuild in a model designed to encourage a society of the future. Or experiment. Now Haiti happened long after I had been fully immersed in the analysis phase of my life, and the life I was about to be put in charge of shaping. However it represents where the trends are heading. It must be accepted that certain things will change in the world around you, you are a catalyst of vast amounts of change potential, but some things should be anticipated or worked toward for your own advantage. So will the people of Haiti rebuild their country the same way? Or will they come up with a new way. A way that works for Haiti and her people. Or will they become something else? Or maybe they won’t change at all. What will America do? What are her choices? What trends is she leaning towards? World wide what are the trends? I have thought for years the world will be segmented the way the US was in the future. Countries will represent types of work, or companies’ existing within countries the way the US was geographically segmented. Furniture and clothing in the South East. Manufacturing food production in the upper Midwest. Steel States. Tourist States, Natural Resource States, New science West Coast. We now see countries going this route. Countries rich in natural resources such as the Oil rich middle east. Or the manufacturing rich China. Thinking globally is a reality in his future. The world will be a smaller place even more unimaginably smaller than it is today. If the internet is allowed to thrive and prosper. We are currently seeing a lot of countries taking down sites that promote free thinking and free thought, such as Google in China or Tehran. If our government does the same then the world may be much bigger. More segmented, fractured with make believe differences rather than linked in commonality of humanness.

I’ve realized in my journey toward sustainability that what we are taught earliest tends to be the beliefs we continue to hold deep down in adulthood. So if we teach our children that there are no opportunities, that life is tough, then they will believe that. If we teach them the world is full of opportunities and good things, they will believe that. If you lie, or don’t teach them, they will make their own decisions which will probably come from something very hard to deal with and cause a lot of wasted effort on their part.

My conclusion is that Jesus is still the savior, but that our understanding of how God works in our lives continues to change. I believe God made man a sustainable entity directly connected to the environment we live in. God’s presence is also in everything we are connected to, including time. One of the difficulties with this mindset is the academic crowd tends to forsake God in the development of new technology, scientific breakthroughs and new lines of thinking. “Christians” and other religions tend to get marred in doctrine rather than biblical text. The lost get even more lost somewhere in the middle. Neither side is willing to work towards acceptable compromises in belief systems. Haiti, she’ll be a ruin for 3 generations because greed will keep her corrupt and the people don’t yet have a leader to set them free. America will fall into something new and Americans will have a shift in their reality.


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